| Bluebird Lane Blog |
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One of my clients was filling me in on her ongoing training with her young Fjord gelding (she is doing an awesome job with him!) and she used a phrase that I really liked and wanted to share with you.
As she introduced her horse to new experiences, outings, and adventures, if things didn’t go quite the way she envisioned they would, and consequently didn’t measure up to her expectations, she would tell me, “I had to find my lemonade”.
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One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done.
– Marie Curie
OK, so if a two-time Nobel-prize winning scientist can write that, doesn’t it only make sense that the rest of us might, from time to time, feel weighed down by all of what we HAVE to do, never mind what we WANT to do? If it sometimes seems like the gap between where you are at with your horse and where you want to be is a canyon, then I have a practice I want to share with you.
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A reader, Katie, wrote to me after she had read my Gumby article on using the power of visual imagery to help with your riding and training. Katie shared her experience with her own horse, who can be difficult at times, and I wanted to discuss part of her comment, because she raises a really important point:
I don’t know as I’ve come up with an image for my young mare and I, but I think your urging us to do that, and your example of how the image of Gumby worked well for you, is very important and useful. Whenever she’s difficult, the line: “This horse could hurt me”, comes to mind. It feels rational and careful, but it may not be.
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I have this horse who is a real over-achiever. He’s like an intensity-junkie in a horse suit. He takes his work so seriously, only wanting to please his rider and be a good boy, that at times he can get tense just from trying so hard. This can show up in the walk, the hardest gait in which to maintain the necessary quality of relaxation.
Since I know this about him, in an important situation like a dressage test or a clinic, we can go into the walk with me thinking ahead, “I must have him relax. I need to be able to ride this walk. He’s gotta let me in there.” But with all these musts, needs, and gottas going on in my head, it’s not a wonder there’s tension!
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We keep talking about the importance of stretching for riders, and about suppleness being the foundation of our position. And I know you agree, but what I hear from you is that sometimes you find it hard to fit it into your day.
This got me thinking about Stephen Covey’s Big Rock analogy. In case you haven’t heard it, I’ll start by sharing it.
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When she was nineteen, my coach’s daughter left home to further her riding skills and experience, by working for a trainer in Germany for a year. All of the students left behind thought this was terrifically exciting and we vicariously enjoyed the adventure through hearing her reports whenever she would call home.
Her mother was relaying one of these phone calls back to us, telling us that her daughter was having a great time, was riding all sorts of top-trained horses, and felt she was well on her way, in fact, to unlocking the mystery of the perfect half-pass. We all hung on every word with bated breath, waiting to hear the great mystery de-mystified! “Well, what she has figured out is…. “
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One of my subscribers wrote to me with a question the other day. She started out by telling me that she is enjoying the eZine and appreciates getting my tips, and that she often feels inspired to follow some of the practices I share.
Her problem, she says, arises very soon into her new resolve when, despite being motivated for all the right reasons and having the very best of intentions, she finds her newly minted complaint-free status has deteriorated into a twenty minute gripe-fest, or her planned four times a day stretch breaks have not happened a single solitary time this week!
“So,” she asks, “what is up with that? I’m starting to think I just can’t change!”
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The Three Pillars of Your Riding Foundation is how I describe the basic building blocks that you use to create a strong platform for your success as a rider.
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